While driving my ol Dodge truck yesterday, I watched my odometer roll past 176,000 miles. One hundred seventy-six thousand miles! I think that's like a trip to the moon or something! It got me thinking. I've had this truck for nine years last month. The gas gage doesn't work any more, have to set the trip meter so I know when to get gas. The paint is pealing. The cruise control doesn't work. Driver seat has a tear in it, and I'm lucky to get 12-13 mpg!!
Then I came across this:
STAGECOACH RULES
1. Abstinence from liquor is requested. If you must drink, share the bottle. To do otherwise makes you appear unneighborly and selfish.
2. If ladies are present gentlemen are urged to forego smoking cigars and pipes as the odor is repugnant to the Gentle Sex. Chewing tobacco is permitted, but spit with the wind, not against it.
3. Gentlemen must refrain from the use of rough language in the presence of Ladies and Children.
4. Buffalo robes are provided for your comfort during cold weather. Hogging robes will not be tolerated. The offender will be made to ride with the driver.
5. Don’t snore loudly while sleeping, or use your fellow passenger’s shoulder for a pillow. He, or she, may not understand.Friction may result.
6. Firearms may be kept on your person for use in emergencies. Do not shoot at wild animals as the sound riles the horses.
7. In the event of runaway horses, remain calm. Leaping from the coach in panic may leave you injured, at the mercy of the elements, or hostile Indians, or hungry coyotes.
8. Forbidden topics of discussion are stagecoach robberies and Indian uprisings.
9. Gents guilty of unchivalrous behavior toward Lady Passengers will be put off the stage. It’s a long walk back. A Word to the Wise is sufficient.
Traveling by stagecoach was not for wimps. Passengers were allowed 25 pounds of baggage and meals of boiled beans, biscuits and coffee, with luck every 8 hours on a trip. Demas Barnes described his 25 day 1866 journey from Missouri to California as “a ticket for 15 inches of seat with a fat man on one side and a poor widow on the other, a baby in your lap, a hat box hanging over your head and three or more persons across from you leaning on your knees.” Some free advice for travelers: When the driver asks you to get off and walk, do it without grumbling. He will not request it unless absolutely necessary. If a team goes on a runaway, sit still and take your chances. If you jump, nine times out of ten you will be hurt. In very cold weather, abstain entirely from liquor while on the road. A man will freeze twice as quick under its influence. Don’t growl at food stations, as they generally provide the best they can get. If you have anything to take in a bottle, pass it around. A man who drinks by himself in such a case is lost to all human feeling. Don’t linger too long at the pewter wash basin at the station. Don’t grease your hair before you start or dust will stick there in quantity to make a respectable potato patch. Tie a silk handkerchief around your neck to keep off dust and sunburn. And don’t imagine for a moment you are going on a pic-nic. Expect annoyance, discomfort and some hardship. If you are disappointed...thank heaven!
But, ya know...that ol Dodge has a smooooooooth ride! It's never stranded me on a lonely road! It's hauled everything from dogs to horses to trees and always come back for more And it makes a cool VAROOM sound when I start her up. Guess I ain't got it too bad! Think I'll keep her for at least another nine years...then...
